Stayin in Fight AND Flight Mode!

Hello all!  I hope everyone is doing well.  Alot has been going on over here in our home.  Chase and Baylee started softball.  I can not wait to see them play this season.  It is so fun to watch them in action!  Our family has been so sick.  But- we are finally all feeling better.  It was a good month or so of all of us taking turns being sick.

I have been going to my doctor's appointments as normal.  Once a month for five years I receive a shot in my stomach to shut down my hormone production.  I also have to take a pill everyday for five years to put me in and keep me in menopause.  Ya me!  lol.

Today I had my echocardiogram and Trans- Esaphagal-Echocardiogram.  These echos were the ones we have been waiting to do since my radiation has been over.  It took six times to find a vein in my damn arm to accept the needle and get a line started.  Once my veins finally cooperated, I got to just chill while the doctor put a camera down my throat to view my heart.  Long story short- I have a Mytral Valve Prolapse and it needs to be completely replaced!  So next adventure for me and my
fam-  HEART surgery!!!  I have already done my waaaa waaaa moment and have accepted the fact that I have to do this if I want to be around.  This is a must!  If I wanna stay alive then I have to do this.  So- I don't feel sorry for myself, I am fine.  I am gonna put my big girl panties on, keep my bitch face on for good now and keep on keepin on.  That is the only choice I have!!

All this crap that I am going through and that my family is going through has changed me!  It has changed me for the better.  One thing that I hope everyone understands is that no matter what a person or family is going through- whether it is cancer, a bad day, dealing with grumpy kids, etc it is all a difficult situation for that person and family.  We need to all recognize that and not have the thinking that our lives are just so terrible because THEY ARE NOT!!!!  People and families are struggling everyday with some type of awful crap.  It is how you deal with the awful crap and turn it into a postive and just get through it that will make you a better person and family.

I will not let myself feel sorry for myself.  Jarrod is so good about letting me cry and get that shit out and then he tells me we need to make a plan.  Immediately my brain switches gear and starts back into fight or flight mode tackling everything in my brain to get through this heart surgery.  And then I start to accept it and be ok with it all and tell myself that I am a bad ass bitch and I got this!!

Anyways... We are going to be ok..  Just another damn hurdle to get through.  Damn it....  I am really earning my vacation to Hawaii!!  lol

I see my surgeon next week   But surgery will not be for a while.  My body is still healing from treatment.

XOXO