What a Difference a Year Makes!

So everyday I go to bed wanting to blog something- but then I think it is stupid and not worth a read so I decide not to blog.  But for the past few days I have been thinking back to my cancer diagnosis last year.  My official diagnosis from my Breastlink Doctor was on my birthday- April 16th.  I will always think of my birthday as the worse day of my life now.  This year for my birthday Jarrod and my Cancer Crew went to South Coast Winery for an amazing dinner.  It was soooo good.  But before dinner was ordered, Jrod decided to give a beautiful toast thanking our Crew and then yakkin about
me lol.  Then all of the sudden he got down on a knee and asked me to basically stay married to him- cancer and all-and he gave me a beuatiful diamond anniversary band!!  We had a wonderful night.  It was a much better birthday this year than last year!!  Good people, good food, good wine a DIAMONDS!!  lol.

We also had an amazing weekend last weekend filled with two beautiful weddings!!  Friday night we went to a wedding in Newport Beach and Saturday we went to Kari and Brandon's wedding in Temecula.  Both weddings were so gorgeous and sooooo much fun!!  We danced alot at both weddings and just really enjoyed ourselves and our family and friends!!  It was also a wonderful weekend because I finally looked in the mirror and recognized myself a bit.  As I was doing my make-up-which hardly everrrrr happens-I realized that I am still "here!''  For the past year since loosing my hair and watching my body swell I have had a hard time accepting the way that I look physically.  I tell myself all the time that it is just temporary-but that is a crock of shit.  I have lost so much of myself physically and It is hard to accept it-I doubt I ever will!  But last weekend I felt pretty.  I felt feminine.  I didn't feel embarrassed of myself.  I felt like Jarrod was proud to be by my side.  I just felt good for those few hours each day!  It was nice to know that I can still clean up well-even with a short white girl afro and no boobs!  lol.  It was a great weekend plain and simple.  I am so happy and grateful that we were able to attend both weddings!   It was all so beautiful.

Now Jarrod and I are coaching Chase and Baylee's All Star team.  Jrod is the head coach and manager and I am assisting him!!  It has been amazing!  The last two weeks have just been great.  Being out on the softball field is exactly what my brain and body needs!  Its three hours of not worrying about the littles, my cancer, my heart or any other problems that I have.  It is just us and the team!   Jrod and I are hard on the girls but also very motivating.  We expect ALOT from these girls but we know they can do it!!  Each week they get better and better.  It is just such an honor and priveledge to beable to go back out and coach these girls.  Best part...I am coaching with Jrod!!  And everyone is so great about helping with the littles to make it happen!  It is  B.O.S.S. 2.0!!

So that is it!!  I am tired!  Here are a bunch of pictures for ya' all to check out!!  Take care!
XO