in case you missed it... Here is my story!!

In case anyone missed it... Here is my story! Blogged back in May 2014


I have been dreading this....  I have been avoiding the "blog!!"  But it is time. It is time to share my story and what we are going through as a family.  I was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma in my right breast. That is a big ass fancy word for BREAST CANCER!  A few things I would like to say before I continue on. First, DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR ME OR MY FAMILY!!  Second, this blog is going to be used to update my family and friends. It is so exhausting to call and repeat the latest news. Its hard!!  And third- this is going to RAW!  I am going to be doing alot of my posts from my chemo treatments. I am also going to post pictures and fun stuff of the kids. I am going to cuss and put down my feelings.  Also, I am NOT ASKING FOR YOUR OPINIONS OR HELP ON HERE! This is MY outlet. If you do not like it- do not read it!  My goal of this blog is to give my family and friends updates and to let them know that I am ok even when it gets shitty.   It is also for my family to see that chaos is still gonna go on as normal with my kids and my husband. Nothing is going to change for my kids. I do not care how sick I get- They will be taken care of by their Mamma and Daddy 100%!
And lastly- I love my family- all of them. This is a time where I have to be selfish and think about ME FIRST. It is what is going to help me beat this cancer and is gonna keep me going. I am going to be bitchier than normal, sick, tired, grumpy,irritated, etc...  You get my drift!  Lol

Here goes my story: 

After I weaned Stella I had noticed a lump on my right breast. I felt it, pushed on it, and pushed it to the back of my brain. I told myself that it is probably just my milk drying up.  So I went on and just forgot about it.  Then I got pregnant with Skylar- whoops!!!  And let me first say- thank goodness I did not pursue this cancer until after Skylar was here. If I had pursued the lump- Skylar would not be with us today!   Love that baby!!  Anyways, so I was pregnant with Skylar- hard ass pregnancy. I am about eight months pregnant with her and I push on my boob and thought holy crap!  So I told Jrod to 
feel and he and I both just were thinking its my milk coming in again. So I have Skylar and was breastfeeding her just fine. No problems!!  Everything was going great!!  Then in February I felt my
boob again and thought crap!!!  That thang has gotten bigggggg!  Again, I tell Jarrod and he yells at me to get into the doctor.  So I did... i saw my obgyn a few days later. The horror begins... Then i had an ultrasound done. Then a mammogram. Then a magnified mammogram. Then a stereotactic biopsy. Then an ultrasound guided biopsy. Then two more magnified mammos. Then I saw a deuschbag surgeon- I fired his ass along with my primary drs. Told them all off. Called my insurance and spoke with them for over three hours with four screaming kids. Switched all my insurance to get a new primary so that I could get a breast cancer specialist and team!  Boom!!  Did it!!  Got in with my breast cancer doctor. She then ordered two more magnified mammos and another ultrasound. Then I finally got to meet her. On my 35th birthday I got to meet my breast cancer doctor, and found out that I really in fact  had breast cancer.  I got to find out that chemo was my first treatment. I cried!  I finally cried!   After two plus hours with her talking about my treatment plan, I walked with Jarrod to go get a genetic test done and almost hyperventilated. I was standing outside the medical building and I told Jarrod to stop walking. I could not breath. I could not do anything. I stood there with my sunglasses on and cried and could barely breath. Jarrod calmed me down and I then walked in and did my genetic blood test. The blood test is mainly to make sure my four girls are not affected
genetically. We are waiting on the results still. Side note- its a five thousand dollar test. Hopefully insurance pays!  We don't care. We will figure it out. It needed to be done!!  So I take the test and walk back to my breast cancer doctor's office. She then says I need to come back later today to do a lymphnode biopsy. So I did. That biopsy hurt like a mother fucker!!  I laid there and cried. I felt the machine chomp into my arm pit and rip off a lymphnode. They bandaged me up and sent me for another mammo! My doctor also told me I had to stop breastfeeding NOW!  I cried. I am still so devastated over that. I feel like I have been robbed. Sucks!  So that was my birthday.
About a week later Jarrod and I drove up to Orange County to meet my oncologist. Love him!!  I walked in and immediately got irritated and grumpy. He told me about my chemo treatment, what to expect, bla bla bla. We walked out of there and I got into the car and cried. I was scared outta my damn mind. Chemo?  Me..  What the hell!  Then he said that he wanted a PET scan, full body MRI and a brain scan done to make sure this cancer has not spread anywhere else. My PET scan came out fine. My MRI shows a calcification on my left breast now. Ughhh. And It also showed approx 2-4 lymphnodes involved. And my tumor is approximately 8cm!  That's a big one!  I just did my brain
scan yesterday. Waiting on those results. I still have an echocardiogram to do and a chemo port to get put in as well. I am waiting for the green light on chemo. Should be any day.

The kids- you are probably wondering how they are. They are doing good!  Jarrod and I are very open with them.  They can ask us anything and we will tell them. They can go with us to mert my doctors. And we are even setting up chemo so they can go and see what I do and not be scared. They are scared most of me dying and loosing my hair. Lol. Chase tells me as long as I am ok that she is ok. Baylee cries alot with me. I hold her and just hug her and tell her I am not going anywhere!!  They are super busy with softball- thank goodness. So we are keeping them nice and busy!!  Stella does not understand but is definitely feeling it. But she is ok. Skylar is like what the hell. I took the boob away from her and she has been ok. These kids are really resilient!!  I got strong ass kids!  They amaze me!  I love my girls more than anything. They are why I am going to be ok and make it through this. They are my everything. I joke around and am hard on them. But that's my job as their mom!!  But they are why I get up every morning. They make me a better person each day of my life!!!

And Jarrod...  My poor husband. He married a hot ass mess!!  He has dealt with my Hyperemisis and now cancer!  Alot people judge Jarrod poorly!  My husband is my rock, my soul, my best friend. My EVERYTHING!!  That man has had my back from the first day we went out!!  He is the most amazing man, husband and father ever. I definitely do not tell him enough!  I am usually busy yelling at him lol. He likes it!  Lol. We have been married now for 12 years and have gone through alot!  But this is the ultimate test. And so far he is amazing!  I could not ask for a better person to be married too. He may be cray cray at times and speak his mind. But you always know you will get the honest truth from Jarrod. Sometimes the truth hurts.. But sometimes it is neccesary to grow as a positive human being too!! I love that man!!  He is amazing to me. He loves me for me!  Plain and simple. And boy is he in love with his four girls. They are his everything!  Love my hubs!


So there is a quick update of what is going on behind our house doors!  We are dealing with alot as a family. So give us a break when needed!!  Lots to do, coordinate and figure out.
Talk to everyone soon! 
Xo
Amy